The Forum of Benfleet Running Club

Terry T · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 33 Location: Hockley

Don't those that took part in Death Race 2006,better known as the Southend 1/2 Marathon get extra points in the Merit Table? Should be at least +20pts.
As it stands now ,I'm staring relegation to the Conference in the face!

Beware those at the top,you might get promoted to the all conquering superstars that are known as SPRINGFIELD STRIDERS !!!!!
Although with those shorts Godfrey, you should be safe!

Mike Mason · Joined: 02 Jun 2006 Posts: 954 Location: Hockley

Allowance should be given for weighting the best looking male club member. I would like to nominate Mike Mason for this category. This is an anonymous posting as he would feel much embarrassed to hear of such things being said about him....................
_________________
'sometimes I am running so fast it appears that rocks and trees are standing still......' 'I may be slow, but you are ugly and I can train harder.' '90% is mental, the other half is physical'it's going to get a lot worse, before it gets worse'.

mikey · Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:26 pm Post subject:

Ref : Southend Half Marathon merit table points

There seams to be some confusion about the Southend merit table points.

For some reason club members who took part seem to feel hard done by, due to the slow times they recorded, and so the low merit table points achieved for such a hard run !

There’s even been talk of “extraordinary circumstance” bonus points being allocated !!

I feel these club runners are missing the point slightly, and really it’s the runners who didn’t take part that should be feeling hard done by !!

Let me explain :

If this was your first half marathon, you have posted an incredibly slow first time for the distance. Which given a half decent course and weather you should beat with ease the next time you run, giving you a massive merit table bonus !!!

If the Southend half is the only half marathon you run this year, then this slow time will be carried forward as your start pb for next year ( you might even get 1% added if you’re a Vet ! ). Likewise the next time you run a half marathon you’re more than likely to set a massive merit table pb based on this slow start time !!

Finally, if you run lots of races a year, you have nothing to worry about. the low score you recorded will be discounted, as only your best 6 scores count towards the final total !!

As you can see by running the Southend half you certainly haven’t lost anything, and potentially you have everything to gain.

If any members feel Southend Half runners should be penalized for trying to cheat the system, feel free to contact me

Regards

Mike

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

Not wanting to add any more confusion to this debate, BUT...

having run both the Southend Half and the Dartford Half, I think the Dartford Half was a lot hotter, hillier and another word starting with H
(of which the word escapes me, at present)

So IN CONCLUSION, I do believe that popular, and very worthy saying comes to mind:

"face, bovvverrrred...!"

Wink

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

Mike, I assume this has nothing to do with the fact that you didn't run Southend Half, does it ??

Pat M · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 215 Location: Canvey Island

I think to end the debate we should add all the moaning minnies up, add all their times together, divide this by their total to give us an average time. Then take the slowest time, divide it by two and add it to the fastest time just for the hell of it. The guy in the middle's time just ignore as that's an average and we've covered that already. Take the time of day and subtract it from our time then compare that time to the fastest time on the day, and then swop them over giving every Benfleet runner an equal best time. Then diqualify them all from the merit table for cheating but more importantly for complaining about the best summer we've had in years! Go live in Iceland.

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

here's a simple answer=

+ 5 points if you ran the Southend Half Marathon
+ 5 points if you ran last month
+ 5 points if you ran this year

- 5 points if you haven't run this year.
- 5 points if you have pulled a sickie for the last 3 months on a "lame" excuse of broken bones.
- 5 points if your name rhymes with cat.
- 5 points if you live on an imaginary island and talk to birds and scarecrows.

SORTED.

Terry T · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 33 Location: Hockley

Blimey was only 'avin a laugh ,obviously some serious bunnies out there!
Anyway, thought about living in Iceland,but what happens when they shut at 5.30? At least Tesco's are 24hrs!

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

so that's why mum's go to Iceland !

Mike Mason · Joined: 02 Jun 2006 Posts: 954 Location: Hockley

additional merit weighting for best looking runner not taking part in Southend half marathon must surely go to Mike Mason.

Again this is an anonymous posting. Mike is really very sensitive about his remarkable looks and prowess and does not like to have much said about either..... as I am sure it would only upset other less fortunate club runners
_________________
'sometimes I am running so fast it appears that rocks and trees are standing still......' 'I may be slow, but you are ugly and I can train harder.' '90% is mental, the other half is physical'it's going to get a lot worse, before it gets worse'.

Pat M · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 215 Location: Canvey Island

So let me see......

I didn't run Southend. (Not that silly.) 0 points.
I didn't run last month. 0 points.
I ran Jan and Feb this year. +5 points.

- Points.

I have run this year. (See above.)
Haven't pulled a sickie for last three months but last five and a half.
Patrick doesn't ryme with cat.
And there's nothing imaginary about my Island. After all you mentioned it so it must be real.

So I make that +5 points.
Razz

mikey · Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:10 pm Post subject:

Reading the last few posts, it seems to me that only the residents of Hockley (God’s Own Running Country) are making any sense at all.

From now on only views from “Gods Own Running Country” will be given any credibility. All other comments will be treated with the skepticism they deserve, and if you live on an island whether real or imaginary, you can forget it !

Remember, the club is running an excursion to “GORC” on Thursday 10th August .

Come see what you’ve been missing

Unfortunately , only runners processing exceptional good looks and running ability will be allowed to stay. Everyone else will be escorted to the parish boundary and asked to leave. ( Sorry it’s the Law !! )

debbie g · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 299

Having looked at the posts on this thread I feel compelled to contribute. I agree with Terry credit must be given to those long sufferers at the Southend Half. I didn't do it and damn glad I am that I didn't. I take my hat off to you (I borrowed a yellow one from Karl and removal is the best thing you can do with a hat like that).

Anyway as probably the only other person (apart from Mikey) who can actually work out the merit table scores I'm qualified to comment. I'm not sure Andy K has forgiven me for running a Boxing Day 5 miler for a PB just so I could beat him to 1st place on the last possible race of the year (sorry Andy).

And Andy's from GORC Mikey. This makes me confident that MJ is totally unbiased and fair in his calculation of merit table standings (it has nothing to do with the fact that I've won it twice...)

Anyway who is this handsome chap you mention Mike? Where can I meet him? Does he have any more flavours of gels??!!

mikey · Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 2:40 pm Post subject:

Hi Debbie

Actually Andy is from Hullbridge ……. Sometimes referred to as “Lower Hockley” !!

It’s true Hullbridge used to be associated with the praish of Hockley.
Back in the times when it was only a collection of mud huts and un-made roads ( Not so long ago ).

But these days we’re severed links, which works well from both sides. The Hullbridge posse, never really liked being lorded over by the sophisticated residents living at the top of the hill, and we never liked the smell ( coming up from the river ! ).

Anyway its all water under the bridge ( if it was still there ! )

Aren’t we getting a bit of the Merit Table track ?

And what’s this about gels ?

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

gels...you know....ladies, women of the opposite persuasion, gels !

do you have them in Hockley ?

maybe they can't make it up the hill with all the shopping ?

and yes -

can we please keep this thread just for slagging off the so-unfair Merit Table.

(don't forget the important race of the year - the rayleigh 3.45 miler -
it's a classic and it might just be a PB for me this year)

debbie g · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 299

I beg your pardon Karl, who said MJ's merit table is unfair?

Anyway gels are those things you need to get PB's on half marathons. Maybe you should try some, Mike M has a delicious and varied selection.

Never knew endurance running could be such fun, now which flavour next...??

(Sorry for the confusion Mikey gel reference was to Mike M !!)

But back to the very fair Merit Table....

mikey · Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 4:08 pm Post subject:

Mike M …. Are you sure ?

I’m gutted

Enough about these gels and gels ….. Back to the Merit table

It’s so un-fair …. How comes I never get anywhere ?

I started off as a FB ( Full Bodied ) Runner, now I’m an Ironman !!

Surly that should count for something ?

Mike Mason · Joined: 02 Jun 2006 Posts: 954 Location: Hockley

off for a week in Sunny Scotland - see you all soon. Debbie I take it you liked the strawberry Carboom.....lovely

rgds

Mike
_________________
'sometimes I am running so fast it appears that rocks and trees are standing still......' 'I may be slow, but you are ugly and I can train harder.' '90% is mental, the other half is physical'it's going to get a lot worse, before it gets worse'.

debbie g · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 299

Enjoy Scotland Mike, try not to under-dress! Wink

I hear Scotland is at least a 3 fleece place.

Sorry Mikey but if you'd offered me your gels...!!

Ernie · Joined: 26 May 2006 Posts: 184 Location: Hockley GORC

Who wants to talk about the Merit Table when Gels are so much more interesting. I like the Peppermint ones but I must confess I do partake in just about every flavour imaginable. And yes we do have Gels in Hockley Karl ! in fact Hockley could be right up there with the Great Gel Centres of the World. Here in Hockley we love and cherish our Gels. Whats your favourite flavour ?

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

oh please, who are you kidding. Gels in Hockley ! Ha !

You will be saying you've got electricity next.

Rolling Eyes

mikey · Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 12:15 pm Post subject:

Karl , Karl …. What have I told you about questioning the word of a Hockley resident ?

It’s clear that Ernie’s word as a resident of “Gods Own Running Country” should be taken as the gospel truth.

Do I detect a touch of the green eyed monster in you ?

I notice you live in Rayliegh, another of Hockley’s satellite settlements , so close and yet so far, you could say.

Close enough to run into the promised land, but still having to return to your humble dwellings when the sun sets …. Must be so frustrating for you.

But enough of this idle chatter

Is there know one with a merit table gripe …… Surly it can’t be a prefect format ?

Or is it ?

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

back to gels -

my favourite at the moment is

Alberto V05 Extreme Style Gel Wax for hair - New 75ml

VO5 Gel Wax combines the hold of a gel without the crustiness, and the shaping of a wax without the greasiness, to create the most extreme lasting styles.
- Long lasting firm hold
- To shape, mould and hold
- Adds definition
- Not crusty, washes out easily

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

I don't do crustiness

Pat M · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 215 Location: Canvey Island

And you say Muldoon's Island is 'fantasy land'.

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

I did a training run up Hockley Hill into Hockley one Wednesday -

but it was shut - or maybe they had run out of 50p's for the meter !

mikey · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:26 pm Post subject:

Hi Karl

Running into Hockley again

The lure of milk and honey to much for you ?

Sorry we appeared to be shut , could be the Hockley style police saw you coming, and warned the residents in advance !

There’s a time and a place for gel, best you only wear it in the suburbs from now on

Regards

Coach

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

Yep, sorry.

Have tried to drag Hockley into the new millenium, but to no avail.

Stick with your Brylcream and Brut aftershave, see if I care !

Bet you have plain coloured shorts aswell.

mikey · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject:

I think you’re find “GORC” shorts are multi-facetted, just like the personalities of their owners !!

Yes, it’s true the Burberry revolution does seam to have passed Hockley by …..
Some say it’s a shame ( But they tend to come from the suburbs ! )

Classic style never goes out of fashion, check out the club photo gallery if you don’t believe me.

Anyway, I’m about to refresh the merit table ….

Excitement is almost unbearable ….

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

A spa was established at Hockley after 1838, when a Mrs Clay claimed that she had been cured of asthma by a well in her garden. A pump-room and a hotel were built in 1843, but spas were already becoming outmoded. The hotel gradually gained a low reputation, and it was where the village poor came to collect their dole.... 12 12 ........

Lord Rayleigh - The Nobel Prize in Physics 1904
and Barbara Windsors' Mum used to live in Rayleigh. Laughing

need I say more ?

Karl C · Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 1695 Location: Rayleigh

and DAVID ESSEX !

mikey · Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:23 am Post subject:

Barbara Windsors' Mum ! ......... you don't say !!

Have to admit I never knew that ..... But somehow it makes sense !

Anyway, back to the serious stuff

The Latest Merit Table Update is now online

Check out your current standing

I'll be bringing the latest results down the club (if you want to challenge anything )

As always, more than happy to include any missed results etc

Stevie · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 413 Location: Benfleet

Does this include the Little Havens 5km from Sunday ?
It does not appear that I have gained any further points, and before I get a remark from Pat I did get a PB but not the time I was aiming for Sad

Steffan · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 543 Location: Basildon

Yes mikey, I got a pb by 2 mins and 10 seconds at little havens for a 5k, its all to play for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

muhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stevie · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 413 Location: Benfleet

Dont give Steff any points, he must have taken a short cut Laughing

Steffan · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 543 Location: Basildon

LOL

mikey · Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:09 pm Post subject:

Both Karl and I have been trying to get the results off the web all day !

I know they're there, because I've seen them !!

Don't print them off as was a little busy (work etc),but haven’t been able to log on since due to heavy traffic using the site !

As soon as results available, will update ...... Don't panic

Steffan · Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 543 Location: Basildon

The site is working now....................QUICK!