CREDIT CRUNCH - the facts for the rest of us

Karl C · CREDIT CRUNCH - the facts for the rest of us

MILLIONS of Britons last night realised the collapse of the banking system meant nothing to them as they have no money anyway.

As Gordon Brown unveiled his latest multi-billion pound guess, people across the country said not only do they have no savings but they do not know anyone who does.

Tom Logan, an IT consultant from Peterborough, said: "I've got a £3000 overdraft, a £17,000 car loan and a mortgage the size of Canada - does that count as savings?

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

Karl C · A TIME MACHINE WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER

A TIME MACHINE WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER, SAY EXPERTS

BUILDING a time machine to take us back 18 months would have been cheaper than the multi-billion pound bank bail out, it was claimed last night.

As the government spent £500bn recreating the exact economic conditions of April 2007, Britain's leading time travel engineer said he could have done it for half that.

Dr Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "You need a Vauxhall Corsa, a small amount of plutonium and something I call the 'flux capacitor'.

"You simply punch in the date - let's say, April 15th, 2007 - activate the flux capacitor, and accelerate the Corsa to 88mph.

"At that point a hole opens up in the space-time continuum and in the blink of an eye you've got mortgages being handed out like free newspapers and credit cards coming out of your arse.

"And once you start giving people credit they can't afford and engineering a global banking collapse, you just jump in the Corsa and start all over again."

He added: "Of course, in 2007 there was no such thing as plutonium so we'll have to rig up some kind of giant lightning conductor. It'll be fine."

Meanwhile the National Audit Office has also criticised the government's overspend on recreating April 2007.

A spokesman said: "It would actually have been cheaper to launch an intergalactic space mission to search for the planet Krypton, find Superman, bring him back and get him to fly round and round the Earth until it started rotating the other way, thereby turning back time and opening up the wholesale money markets again."

mArKw

They don't need to build a time machine. Just borrow Mike Mason's......

Apart from going back to the 70's to restock his dodgy fashions (the last time red gillets were the in thing), he also returns to the 70's to watch his beloved Spurs. That was the last time they were any good :blackeye:

Mike Mason

Mark funny you should mention the 70's as I am going through a music memory lane again. Heres' a few to fire you all up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUmIO_MG5IU got in late to his show on Sunday and missed this number

oh joy oh bliss:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh3bleXWaCk
[url]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXPt35KoU4[/url]